The season of singleness can be hard. It can be lonely and feel like it will never end. It’s easy to get caught up in the feelings of solitude and waiting, whether that’s for a short season or for your entire life. But this time can be a wonderful gift. How amazing to have years of your life to be able to prepare for your future and do things that truly make you happy. If your future relationship goal is marriage, there are some things you can do to help prepare you for that. Ultimately, these are things are great life habits to have, regardless of if you ever choose to get married or not. Marriage is not the absolute goal in life, and never should be, and these skills will serve you well as you learn more about yourself and grow as a person. Consider your “waiting” period a season of growth, betterment, and preparedness.
Prepare your heart
Find a church home that you love and go regularly. Get into a great habit of spending time with God daily. Make prayer your go-to. Lean into Jesus. When your heart is tied with His, it will be easier to discern when a partner is right for you. If you have a deep and consistent relationship with Him, you will be satisfied in Christ. No one can love you like Jesus can, and you need to be confident in that while seeking a partner. Being confident in yourself, and your security in Christ will give you wisdom, and the patience you will need while waiting.
Prepare your finances
Life is expensive. You know this. Regardless of if you ever get married or not, you need to protect yourself and your financial future. Stay out of unnecessary debt. If you are in debt, pay it off and try not to accrue more. Invest in retirement accounts. Save… A lot. Set big lofty goals and work hard for them. Work on moving up in your career or start your own business. Your money habits will stay with you forever and there is no guarantee that your future spouse will have good ones. If you need some basic budget advice, see my post on budgeting, here. It’s vitally important that you develop a strong, healthy relationship with money. Your future self will thank you. Plus, the average cost of a wedding is about $30,000, just in case you needed motivation to save.
Prepare your home
Whether you own, rent, or live with your parents, teach yourself how to be a great homemaker. Learn how to cook several really delicious meals. This will serve you well in life. Cooking from home is healthier and cheaper than constantly ordering in or eating out. Learn how to keep a clean and organized house. Learn a few honey-do skills. These are skill that will bring peace and a “homey” feeling to any house. And, you need to know how to do some basic things around the house anyway. Learn how to be a gracious host and entertainer. Who doesn’t want a life full of dinner parties and game nights?
Prepare your circle
Find some great friends. Life is not meant to be lived alone. Find some amazing, loving and supportive friends and build solid relationships with them. Love them hard. These are the friends that will be in your future plans and help carry you through the ups and downs of life. No matter what comes your way, a strong support system is something that you can never take for granted. True great friends will be there for you in good times and in bad, bringing you food when needed, helping you move, giving advice, and loving you regardless of life’s circumstances.
Prepare your life
You may be in a season of singleness for a few months, or for many years. Enjoy every one of your days. Do the things that scare you. Create a bucket list and start checking it off. Travel. Take classes. Buy funky art and display it proudly in your living room. Do what makes you happy. Be Authentically YOU. Life doesn’t start when you are in a relationship. life is happening NOW. Enjoy it. Someone will come into your life at the right time, and don’t you want to have amazing stories to tell? To know yourself deeply and truly and be able to share that with someone? Go have those experiences!
So, sweet girl, marriage isn’t the goal of life. Being happy and true to yourself is. If you have a strong desire for marriage, I believe that desire is from God and He will answer that desire for you, at some point. But He created you as a unique and beautiful creature and wants you to have a full and exciting life. Live greatly, live with intention, and love every season of your life.