If I had a dime for every time I saw a Facebook post from a woman, obviously lonely, reaching out for connection……I’d have a lot of dimes. And, if I had one for every time I was like, “I hear you girl.” I’d be rich, very rich. Let’s talk “Mom friends.”
Why is this so hard? Like WHY as adults, do we have such a hard time connecting with other women? I know I have felt the struggle, especially after moving to a new state during the peak of COVID-19. We live in such a time where everyone is very isolated and busy. It can be hard to find time to genuinely connect and foster those relationships. I have found that I really have to get outside of my comfort zone and push myself to make mom friends. I’ve gathered some advice to help you, because I know EXACTLY how you feel!
Social Media
Look to social media. No matter what city you live in, there is bound to be a “Moms of Wherever” group on social. Think Facebook or Instagram. Now, I know sometimes those groups can be gripe-fests, or the wrong place for advice, but they’re also a great way to make connections. Most of the women on there are also seeking connection and friendship…..they may just be too scared to admit it. So, drop your inhibitions, and just put yourself out there. You’ll be relieved once you realize you aren’t alone. I’ve had success by creating a post about myself-what I like, my daughter, my hobbies, etc., and offering up a playdate. Usually, a small handful of moms will show to the event. Make sure you’re outgoing, friendly, and welcoming to all types of women.
Share Your Hobby
Do you love to run? Yoga? Paint? Drink your weight in coffee? Whatever you have a passion for, share it! Invite others you meet to join you for a yoga class next week, or a fresh-brewed cup! You shine brightest when you’re doing the things that make you happy. Use your love for something as an ice-breaker and a way to meet new women. If you’re already at yoga, and its a new class for you, be brave and introduce yourself! Your new BFF may be right there on that mat next to you.
Church
Jump into a small group at church. IF your church doesn’t do small groups, find a local one that does. Reach out to several churches about women’s events or Girls Nights Out. This is a great way to meet like-minded women. You can go to women’s events in any church in your area. Check out local church’s websites for possible conferences, women’s nights, etc. If you are really struggling with finding a group, consider volunteering at your church. At minimum, you will meet new people and get plugged in a little more at your church.
Play-Dates
Host playdates, and often. You don’t have to do this in your house. You can simply organize one at the park. Just tell everyone you’ll be at Treelake Park on Saturday at noon, and everyone is welcome! Text your acquaintances, work buddies, and blast it all over Facebook. You may have no one show up, but you may get lucky and have 5-10 moms show! This is a great way to dive deeper into surface relationships and meet new women as well. People tend to be more relaxed at a park and conversation will flow easier. Plus, if you bring your kids, then you already have something to talk about!
Think outside the Box
Some of my best friends are more than 10 years younger than I am, some are much older. Many don’t have kids. And some are in a very different season than I am. But we still have so many things in common. Don’t think someone has to be just like you to be a great friend. Take an opportunity to meet someone and really get to know them. You might surprise yourself with what you find. Plus, the more diversified your group of friends is, the more you will learn about life.
Be a good friend
This is the most important tip. Give more than you get. Text the people in your life randomly to let them know you are thinking of them. Ask how you can pray for them. Remember their birthdays and anniversaries. Listen. Show up. Make time. I know we are all so busy, but after this last year, I think we can all agree that less IS actually more. Make time for what’s really important in life. The better friend that you are, the more likely people will want to be friends with you.
I know making and maintaining friends can be really hard, especially if you are a single, working mom. It’s all about prioritizing yourself and doing what’s best for you as an adult. Your kids are great, but you deserve to have a group of women who love and support you. Make time, and it will be worth it!