This is part one of a three part series…..I hope you join me for the next two parts, Running a household as a Single Mom, and Self-Care as a Single Mom.
One of the scariest things about becoming suddenly single is the thought of finances. Moving from a two-income household to a single-income household in one day is overwhelming. I had one day…..ONE DAY to figure out how I was going to pay all of the bills on my own. I was terrified. If you have been through this due to divorce, death, or some other terrible circumstance, you get it. Along with all of the other feelings, a strong fear of how you and the kids will be financially ok starts to creep up.
After 3 long years, I have managed to not only figure out my own budget, but pay off a significant amount of debt. I have included some of the things that I have done to achieve this, and also bring some peace of mind for my future. There are very few things that are more important then ensuring a financially stable future for yourself and your kids. Let me show you how you can get your mind right, so that you can get your money right:
What do your finances look like?
You NEED a Budget
1. First and foremost, you need to give your money the attention it deserves. Your money should not be an afterthought. You should be monitoring how much you are making, what you have in each account, and the total of your debt. So, if you haven’t, go ahead a do a clean sweep of ALL of your money. Spend a few hours (after the kids are asleep, when they’re at school, maybe wake up early one morning) and face the facts. How much money do you have coming in? How much debt do you have? What do your monthly bills look like? Write everything down! You need to become aware of what you have, who you owe, and where you can do better.
If you have a surplus of money going out and not enough coming in, start by cutting out the “extras”. You can do this immediately. Stop eating out. Cut any and all subscriptions. (Monthly boxes of items you don’t need, music, entertainment, dinner meal prep boxes, you get it). Use the groceries you already have in your house. Wear the clothes you already own. This will free up some money for you in the short term, and also help you establish good habits moving forward.
Take a Long Hard Look at Your Debt
Write down all of your Debts
2. Manage Your Debt. After you have totaled it all up, figure out a way to start paying it off. Maybe you like the snowball method; maybe you like the avalanche method. Whatever method you choose, just start doing it. Pick ONE debt and start chipping away. $50 here, $20 there, it will add up. I managed to pay off my car in 2 years- $20 at a time, you guys! I had online bill pay and along with my monthly established payment, every 5-6 days I would assess my budget. If it was there, I’d throw $20 toward my principal. This is crucial to knocking out your debt. It does not have to be large $500 payments. Any amount you can put towards your debt matters. Stop using credit. Credit should ONLY be for emergencies.
Save Some Money…. Even a Little
Save that Money, Girl
3. Save Money. It really doesn’t matter how much you start with, as long as you start! I cannot stress how important this step is. You never know when an emergency will come up, and without a savings account, it could wreck your finances. Even if you can only place $10 back every month, do it. It is a hard balance when you’re trying to pay off debt, make ends meet, and save…I know. Savings takes a back seat to all of that. Having $500-$1000 in an emergency account will help you be able to breathe. Your car needs new tires? Your kid gets sick? This will help keep you from having to open up a new credit line to take care of those things. Remember, our goal is not to use credit!!
Think About The Future
College, Insurance, Vacations, Etc.
4. Protect Your Kids. The last thing that we tend to think about is life insurance. But what if something happened to you? You would want to make sure that your kids are taken care of. You can find very affordable policies by taking a few hours to research. I used a company that researched options for me and did all the leg work to help me find the best policy out there. I did need to take about one hour to go have a physical, but then it was set up! A large sum of money for less than $20 a month. I know if something happens to me, my daughter will be financially provided for.
5. Dream Big. There is a limit to how much money you can cut out of your budget. But there is NO limit to how much money you can make. Set big goals for yourself. Maybe you need to go back to school. Maybe you need to have a meeting with your boss on what you can do to get a raise. Maybe you need a big scary job change. Set huge goals for yourself and work hard to get there. The only limit you have to your career is the limit that you place on yourself.
6. Work Hard and Never Give Up. For about two years, I worked 3 jobs. I worked a ton of overtime. I did anything humanly possible to get myself out from under some of my debt. I cut as many expenses as possible. On top of my husband just walking out one day, my car died the very next week. I was drowning financially and couldn’t see a way out. So I worked. And worked. There were many long days….days where I was flat out exhausted. But I could see the end of the tunnel. And now, two years later, I am able to work part time. Hard work can and will pay off.
Money isn’t Everything
Find non-financial things to do
7. Reward your kids with non-monetary items. It is so hard in this world to not want to indulge our kids with everything that they want. But you know what your kid really wants? You. Time with you. So, instead of taking your kid to the movies or buying them treats, spend time with them. Take them to the park. Put your phone down and play with them. Give them your full attention. They will remember this more than anything.
I hope that you were able to find some inspiration and hope in this article. By using these actionable steps (That I have used) you can and will be able to be financially independent and strong. It is hard to manage a one- income household, but I promise, you can do it. It just takes work and perseverance.
Join me for Part 2 and Part 3 of this series! I hope to inspire and bring you hope!!